Don't Ignore me :(

Felt ignored recently..

Everyone can ignore me but not you, because it hurts me..

Even though I said you can go clubbing, even though I say it's ok.

But deep in my heart I feel lonely and jealous and scared..

I scared you might not want me anymore when you are back from clubbing..

I know there are more cute, pretty and sexy girls there.

I know I am not pretty, cute nor sexy that's why I did not allow you to go in the first place.

But you get angry and said mean things, which I guess you does not know..

You always hurt me without knowing..

I did not tell you because you would't care, you will find it hilarious .

I get hurt for such things, how useless can I be..

Let me tell you then, as long as those mean words came out from your mouth it hurts me

no matter how mini the hurt it brings, but it still hurt me deep in my heart.

This is something you will not know, because I does not bear to hurt you.

You never know how it feel to be ignored by someone you love.

It hurts more than anything..

I need your encouragement and support..

I want to enjoy a lot of things with you after my exams..

But you had done it all before I am free from exams..

You didn't wait for me..

You watch movies without me, and didn't even inform me beforehand.

You never know how I feel...

You never know when I feel hurt..

You changed so much..

I see lots of unwanted changes..

I dunno why, is it because I am having exams and you are more free now??

Please dun leave me :(

I love you so so much! :(

You no longer say you love me.

You no longer say you miss me.

You no longer show me that smile and laugh..

What should I do?

So many things happened..

I felt the stress from my study and also the stress from you..

I do not dare to say the truth of how I really feel..

I began to hide my feelings, started to hide the real me up..

Because you gave me the feeling that you hate the real me..

It is a wrong to think that we are fine now..

It is wrong to think that you are much more understanding now..

Everything you do just proved me wrong..

I don't feel loved..

I feel stress, because I always have to think what should I say and what I should't say.

I always put that in the first place because I cared about you.

Because I love you! I did not want you to get angry.

Do you know about it????

Do you know how I feel?

I just want to attract your attention..

I felt lonely, I felt useless..

I felt invisible..

What can I do when I need you?

What can I do when I cried and need your shoulder?

What can I do when I want to see you?

I can do nothing! :(

This is the worst thing, because I can do nothing..

Every time, I have to apologies.

Why you are not the one trying to make me happy?

Even when I am not happy, I still act to be happy.

Because I did not want you to get angry. Do you know?

I am not that strong! :(

If I am, than why will I need you?

Have you think about it?

I need you to understand me, not change me to become someone you like.

Because that is not me!

I cried all night, sometimes because of your words, sometimes because of your actions.

I try not to do things you don't like in front of you, because I care for you! :(

You break my heart more than once, but I still forgive you .

Because in the end you will be the one angry.

I will be the one apologising..

Why?????

I am just fucking useless!

FUCK MY LIFE!

Insecure

Have not been posting for quite awhile..

:)

Busy studying, stuffing everything into my peanut brain.

It is tough but I have to hang on there..

I miss you boy <3

History replays again yesterday,

you really break my heart.

What you did make me feel insecure, because I could not believe you.

How can I trust you when you did not tell me everything?

I did not feel respected by your action.

If really you like this, then forget it I give up..

I will not care about you anymore, never come and blame me for being not understanding.

You caused it to happen, blame yourself for it.

You said I did not listen to you, but in the first place did you?

If you want me to treat you the way you wanted,

treat me the way I wanted to be treated first.

I missed the hugs and kisses..

You no longer put me in the first place.

Please, give me a hug and say it softly to my ear "I love you, Baby!

Please, make me feel loved and secure again..

I want to be treated as princess not servant .

Please be there for me anytime, at least this period of time when i need you most.

Happy 8th month!

8 month had past since we get together..

It has been a long journey and a wonderful journey too! :)

I just want us to be like this forever ^^

I love you, you should know that. )

I miss you so much everyday, but I just feel disappointed everyday.

I want to meet you, I want to hug you!

Today, you are not by my side..

Today, our 8th month..

You had work today, which makes me feel angry and sad..

You actually forget about today!

It breaks my heart when you said you would not be able to accompany me today.

I felt lonely for few days and I still have to feel lonely for today?

Seriously! Why today??

I need you to be by my side..

I want you to be there for me when I need you!

I want you to eat with me..

I does not want to feel lonely!

With you I don't feel lonely..

But the problem is I am not with you :(

Can you plan some time for me? :(

I love you dear! :(

Lonely 8th month! :(

8 monthsary eve!

Your actions and words make me feel like you forget about it totally.

Please, tell me you did not! Convince me!

1 sentence and it can make me feel better.

I will not tell you, I want you to be the one telling me "Happy 8th month"

You said you would not meet me so soon.

It breaks my heart, not even a day for our 8th month?

I know my o levels is round the corner.

But do you have to be so extreme?

Did you do it on purpose so I can have time to study?

Or you just simply throw it behind everything..

If that's the case, I am disappointed..

Recently, you did not reply me..

You did not tell me what you do or anything about your life..

It makes me feel that I am totally out of your life.

I hate that! I want to be part of your life!

Please be sweet to me tomorrow!

I wish! I pray!

Heart breaks

Seeing you like this, breaks my heart.

I feel useless, because I can't be there for you when you need me.

I wish to be by your side whenever you need me.

Today, finally webcam with you.

But the moment I see you, my heart sank.

You look so sick and it breaks my heart.

I does not want to see you in this state, I could not bear to see.

Do you remember?

This friday will be our 8th month.

I guess you don't..

Because you had planned work on that day.

I was trying to persuade myself to believe that you are joking with me.

But when you asked, what day is that?

I felt that you really forget about it.

I do not want this feeling, because I felt it before.

I do not want it to happen again on me.

I feel scared when you forget our date..

Are you too busy with your work that you forget the most important date?

Hope it was just a joke.

Hope that it was just a surprise you had planned to give me.

Let's wish to be a surprise :)

Think positive IVY CHUA! ^^

Fucking Results!

I know this is coming.

I didn't expect good results, but I cried.

I cried because I am afraid of getting this results during my O level.

I would not want this results.

I know I wanted to go to poly and not ITE

I know i love dear dear, I know I will not want him to leave me.

He said before if my o level results is bad he will break up with me.

Is it because he think that it is embarrassing ?

Or because his mum don't like it?

What if I put in all my effort but I still get this?

I really don't know what to do..

I just wish that you will not leave me no matter what!

I love you! Forever and after!

Off to study now~

Webcam-ing!

Webcam-ing with dear dear tonight! :)

It make me feel happy, because at least I get to see you through the internet.

As long as I get to see your sweet smile, I feel safe.

I want you to make me feel safe that you will not leave me.

I promised you a lot of things.

I admit I did not keep all promises, but at least most of it.

I promised you that I will work hard, and I did.

I had a huge improvement in my studies which also impress my teachers.

You should know that I could not live without you.

You are my energy, you are my motivation, you are my everything.

My life just can't be without you.

I had already keep a space for you in my heart.

When will you want to move in, and also let me move in to yours?

Does your heart included my area?

Don't dump me and go with other girls, I could not take it this kind of hurt anymore.

It is just too miserable, which I do not want to experience it again.

Please, Love me with all your heart! Because, I do... ...

Sick Sick Sick Sick! :(

Feeling sick! :(

Feeling cold, whole body aching and feeling dizzy..

I always feel sick -,-"

But dear dear is not by my side when I need him most.

He is working tomorrow also, can't meet me again.

I'm feeling very sad, because I really missed him a lot! :(

I Love You dear! <3

Didn't had the appetite to eat anything for dinner.

If in the past you will say, "at least eat something ah.. "

And, " baby! you okay not?"

But now, you no longer do that.

You said "ok."

Which makes me feel like you don't care for me like before.

Is not about you care or not, is about the amount..

The amount decreases..

After that day, I had weird feeling in me..

I'm afraid that you might break up with me and fall in love with other girls.

I don't wish and don't want that to happen!

I'm selfish! I don't want to share you with others!

Because, I LOVE YOU!

Mummy, I Love You ♥

Mummy, I love you! :) ♥

Although I also say I hate you and always talk back to you,

but I still love you no matter what.

I cried when you called to ask if i had eaten my dinner.

When you told me that you are sick and you can't buy dinner for me I feel so loved.

I feel that you care for me.

I can feel the care I always wanted..

you worry for me, you want me to be home early cause I'm alone at home.

Take care mummy! Get well soon! ^^

Love you! ♥

Lonely~

Feeling lonely, Feeling hurt, Feeling sad, Feeling scared..

Afraid of losing you..

Your words meant a lot to me, you said 'I Love You' and I fall in love with you.

You said 'we are off' my hearts sank.

You never know how i felt, you never know what I want.

I always do my best to make you happy.

But do you know how to make me happy?

I admit, I am not the one you are finding, but i am trying to be..

Can you see my hard work? I change to meet your standard.

I had made a lot of changes..

I really love you a lot ♥

I had so much stress, In studies and in our relationship.

But i didn't say it out because I want this relationship to go on.....

I love you more than anything..Really more than anything.

You are the one which make me change, your words make me feel encouraged.

You never fail to act silly when I am bored.

You never fail to laugh at my stupid joke when i demanded.

You never fail to hug me back when I hugged you.

I love your hug ♥ I love your kiss ♥

I just love your everything~ ♥

You are my one and only! ♥

I LOVE YOU; DarylYuenGuoDong♥