Moodless~

It's just torturing to miss you.. :(

We hardly meet, both of us busy with work and you have your studies and exams too..

I know this is not the time to disturb you..

It has been quite some time since we are out for a day..

I miss those days where we can spend lots of time on each other..

I miss those days... Do you?

Recently, just feel that you change quite a bit.

Don't know why recently wants you to get rid of all your bad habits..

example, sleep late and wake up late and your bad temper...

Just feel a bit tired, I does not want to get scream for nothing in the early morning as if I did something wrong.

You know how it feels???

Every time you scream at me, I tell myself "you had get used to it, he is just having morning temper"

Even after I try to convince myself that this is nothing, but my heart still hurts :(

You know I hate to be scream by you, so do you think I will feel good just because I know you don't mean it??

I know it will be hard for you to change those habit..

But for me, can you???

For you, I changed a lot.. I almost change my inner self...

I nearly forgotten who am I..

I really love you very very much! :(

Everyday, things flash by in my mind...

Scenario of you leaving me just flash by...

Everyday, I worried that anytime you might just sms me and say " Let's break up"

I can't take that..

People might say I am crazy or think too much, including you.. :)

Cause I even think how will be like when we married and after we got married :)

But I know you are not confirm that in the future you will want to marry me..

Although every time you show me that expression I know what you mean

but it still hurt me..

I also does not know what I want..

I does not want you to give empty promises,

I does not want you to show me that not confirm expression...

Sorry.. I know you are having a hard time with me..

I just tend to think further because I love to have my own happy family. ^^

That's why I wants to get married young..

Hope you can understand..

And I really wish that my husband will be you..

We had been through so much together..

You know all my secrets, i might know all of yours too...

But I feel that there is nothing you does not know about :)

I have no problem telling you stuff about my family, because you are part of our family ^^

Baby just love you so much that afraid that you will get snatch away by others :(

Wait for me! Next year i will be 18! :)

Wait for me ya~ ^^

Love you! muarks!

Missing you ♥

BabyBoy, I really miss you much! ♥

Everyday I was thinking what you have been doing..

Have you been talking to girls..

Have you meet new girl-friends..

Have you eat your dinner, have you drink plenty of water..

I worry bout you every second..

Even when I was at work, you are still in my mind...

When you told me that you will have only one day to meet me, and I have to wait till next weekend..

This few days I was happily waiting for this week to pass..

Because you told me you will be able to meet me next week..

But I doesn't know what you meant was next weekend..

Last night, we say about friends....

Your words tells me that you can live without those girl-friends...

Are they more important than me?????

Why do you have to keep on text them??

I didn't text my guy-friends because I think that they are not that important..

On my phone, there will be only your name in my Inbox and Outbox... (except family members and girl-ex classmate)

You should know...

I had a habit to check your text message because of the things happen that time..

Hope you can understand and let me do that to make myself feel safe..

I does not want you to go club because I can't go..

I want you to bring me along, not go with your friends and go grind or whatever girls..

You told me you only sit there and drink but sometimes your words says that you had contact with girls..

You will say, is nothing just friends..

But your girl-friends group is getting bigger and bigger without you knowing

"why you bother so much"

This sentence sounds so weird..

This sentence make me feel sad within a second..

I feel that I does not have the right to ask you things..

Why do I feel like hmmmm how to say??

Can't explain it in words..

Too hurtful for me to even think why you say that..

I force myself not to think, but I know myself very well..

I can't..

I always take your hurtful words so serious that I will never forget..

How?

This is me.. The silly me..

I can simply forget those hurtful words and just listen to sweet stuff..

But I just can't change this personality of me..

Miss you so much that everyday, I will look around the house..

I always see memories of us..

The view of us cooking tgt and eat tgt and watch show from funsion tgt..

Now we had lesser time for each other, everything seems to be impossible.

You have work and school I have work..

I can hardly find time to find you because mine is a full time job and you had so much things after your school..

There is no time for me..

I know, I understand..

You need money, You want to earn more money..

Who does not want?

I do!

I am trying very hard to earn money too..

I want to save money for other time..

Because I can't make sure that in the future i might have money to eat..

But I also wish to have time with you..

I feel that I no longer know what you are doing everyday unless I asked..

You longer text me saying "Baby eat (: I eating ... ..."

I no longer know when did you eat and what did you eat..

It had been my habit to text you every time before I start eating and after I eaten..

I will want you to know what I am doing..

I want you to know that I am eating my meals..

I does not want you to worry.

I can't change that now..

From the me that never ask people to eat before I eat till now..

I make big changes for you..

Did you realize it?

I really wish you can spare time to laugh with me and know what I want and how I feel..

I wish you can care for me more..

I feel so lonely everyday..

At work, at home or in my heart..

I was hoping to feel warm once again..

Nothing can make me feel that, Only you ♥

Only you can make me feel safe and warm..

You are the straw to me berry~

Familiar?? :)

Just like the word strawberry,

there can't go without each other, if not they will just be straw and berry..

The combination of them produce sweet and sour fruit that just taste exactly like LOVE.

In a relationship, you would't only experience sweet. You have to be balance between sweet and sour.

Only this will make the relationship last, and also make strawberry so popular..

In the end i just want to say, I LOVE YOU ; DARYLYUENGUODONG! ♥

Prom Night! ♥

Come on everybody! It's Graduation Night! ♥

OK, It's yesterday; 23.11.11

Blogging today cause last night too tired and lazy,,

Haha!

Start from the beginning, wake up in the morning to wake my Mr Piggy up.

After that, rot on bed and went mama shop for bread and Strawberry jam~

Ate Breakfast and do some facial (Bubble mask and real mask[?])..

Meet Yee En and went over to Aini's house to make up ^^

CANDID! :D

Yee En wore make up too but no big difference cause she does not want to obvious..

My make up was the same as usual, nothing different..

Want to know? Show you a pic~

See! Same right?????? hahahaha!

^^

After make up, we went to meet Angela at the bus stop and saw Dan Ying& Gang.. haha

Angela was beautiful!!!!!!!!! Really! I am serious..

Head to school before bus left without us ^^ haha!

Bus getting ready to go~~ ^^

Got on the bus and everyone was excited...

On our way there~

REACHED! ^^

But was drag to the outside to take picture by all of them...

I don't wish to go out actually cause is very hot!

But was still drag out -,-

errrrrrr...

The Book that everyone will receive before going in ^^

This is how it looks like in the inside :)

Form Teacher wrote things on it :D

The stage!

The balloon that was tied on my chair! ^^ Cute~

I nearly fly up.. haha Ooops!

A picture with my balloon~ ^^

Photo with our class noise system! HAHA!

The mask our table decorated.. :)

We win something because of this ^^

Lucky Draw prize!

It was a Angry Bird!

FINALLY! My CERT! ^^

Class Photo!! ^^ haha

Lazy to write much.. :) Want know what happen?

Want see more pictures?

Go see my Facebook :D

I am BACK!

So long since I blog :)

I am back! Miss me? haha! talking to myself! LOLs!

Many things happen within this period of time, there are happy times and also sad times..

Good thing is I had go through all and I am great now ^^

haha! I just love DARYLYUENGUODONG so much! <3

There is times where you make me happy like I am in the heaven,

there is times where you make me sad like I am in hell.

But it all doesn't matter much, because our relationship is strong enough.. ^^ Right?

Sometimes, I think that you are too silly to figure out what I am thinking.

Sometimes, you can't tell that I am angry..

Sometimes, I get angry but you do nothing to it as if nothing happen..

I feel that I does not get the attention I wanted..

But girls is like that, we don't tell you what we expect

The other way round we expect guys to know it and do it..

I was always waiting for surprises and action you will do or words you will say..

But things always don't go the way I wanted..

I does not want to tell your everything, because it make me feel like I am planning for my own surprise.

Don't I sound stupid??????

I do right??? knew it -,-"

I get jealous very easily, you should know it by now..

I allow you to talk to girls, but not too mushy stuff..

And not too often to particular girl!

You should know my pattern ah..

But I know even if I get angry nothing is gonna change..

I can't change the fact that you are damn close you girls..

Where gf can never take it..

If once once or twice is ok, is perfectly fine..

But too often, errrrrrr a bit not nice ah..

Sometimes, is the things and words other person do that make me feel that way..

To you I might be a crazy women that get jealous all day long..

But that's because I don't see you that often, and seems like she see you more than I see you..

When I saw your time-table for work I get angry because I saw you working with her countless times...

Is like most of your time is with her than with me..

Moreover, same school! -,-"

angry die me!! :@

That day, at your house bus stop..

I told you many things, those really is part of the things I feel..

Serious, no fake fake :)

I really had the feeling that anytime I might lose you because of her..

I know you will confirm say that will never happen..

I believed you, but not her..

I am so scared that she will snatch you away from me..

You never know how I feel those weeks..

I am impressed by myself, how I survived through those torturing weeks..

Everyday, I am praying that nothing scary will happen..

I does not want to see nightmare happen again..

I does not want to get that hurt again..

It's too painful to go over again one more time..

I remembered those things because it hurt me so much that I can't forget..

I keep praying that I will not hear those things again..

You will not let me go through all those again right?

I believe you, my cute fat dear dear <3 ^^

Ok, very sleepy already..

Shall go to bed now! ^^

Waking my pig early morning for work tomorrow! ^^

Nights Nights! Love you DarylYuen!

Mr Piggy~ ^^

Heaven to Hell

Was happy when you said you need not work today..

We went shopping at NTUC for ingredients for dinner.

I was looking forward for dinner,

UNTIL, you received a call from colleague saying that she could not cover you.

At that moment I really feel sad and disappointed because I know you will be leaving..

I know you have no choice but that feeling just came suddenly..

Sorry for being cold when you left..

You didn't have much time for me,

that's why every second you have for me I wish to cherish it well.

But didn't expect this to happen..

* 11.11pm*

Wish you will never leave me and love me only. <3

Sorry! :(

I will be more understanding :(

Just that I miss how we go out all the time last time..

Miss the smile on your face..

Miss the laughter we used to have..

Please don't leave me ok?

I always say this because I didn't want that to happen.

I does not want to see this happening the moment I open my eyes,

I heard you talking just now, just that I could not hear you clearly.

I heard you :( really :(

It make me feel sad to see you getting angry :(

I does not know what to do.. :(

You said you will change, I believe you will just that you need some time..

I am willing to wait. :)

Change you temper also ah :(

You get angry too easily le :(

This will make me feel scared to express my feelings..

:(

Nothing much to post today actually...

today will just be a reflecting day for me..

I still need to change a lot,

but I am willing to ^^

Because it's for you :)

LOVE YOU MY ; BABYBOY <3

害怕

每一天都在想我在你眼里到底算什么...

我到底该怎么做你才能把我放在第一位?

你都不知道带给我的伤痛与不安有多少..

我要的是你的疼爱与关怀..

我每天都提心吊胆害怕有人会取代我的位置 :(

我每天都在想我该做什么才能把你留下..

I want you to change because I want our relationship to last..

I can't take all those scolding and stuff anymore..

I apologise does not mean that I am wrong..

I cry does not mean that I am a cry baby.

I didn't argue does not mean that I have no feeling.

I didn't speak up does not mean I does not have pain..

I just swallow all the pain, hurts and sadness in and suffer everything by myself..

Whenever you scold, I just keep quiet and say nothing.

When I wanted something, I didn't force you to buy for me because I know you have financial problem.

But whenever you lend money to your friends I feel that, you cherish your friends more than me..

You rather lend your friends the money than go and eat with me..

I didn't say you have to pay for me, I just need you to bring me out..

I want you to spend more time with me, I need you badly :(

I miss those days where you put me in the first place

I miss those days where you treat me so sweetly

I miss those days where you will bring me out when you are free

I miss those days where you will always spare time for me.

I miss those days where you say you love me everyday

I miss those days.. really..

Do you????

Don't leave me~

You promised me before..

Do you remember your promise?

I remembered..

Hope you can distance away from someone that I don't have good feeling of..

Don't let them have the chance to get in between us hao mah?

Stay strong :(

Don't get tempted :(

Pray hard! :'(

Emotional Breakdown..

I really love you a lot a lot a lot~!

I place you the first place, even in front of me..

I tolerate with all the things you do..

Those that hurt me deep in my heart, those that every girls would't be able to take it..

I take it all, I forgive everything.. Because I love you, I wish you will change for me.

I hope, I hope that you will not give up on me.

Please change for me..

Don't do things that hurt me anymore :(

I can no longer take it.. :(

I need you to open your arms and say "come on baby! I am always here for you~"

I need your warm hug that make me safe

I need your sweet words to make me feel that I am someone that is important to you..

I don't want arguments and scolding from you :(

I don't like it :(

I want you to be sweet and caring.

I want you to think for me whenever you are doing something..

Put yourself in my shoe..

If you don't want to be treated that way, then don't treat me that way..

Because that is too unfair to me..

I believed that you love me..

But maybe there is girls out there that are better than me,

prettier than me, caring than me or what ever..

But I truthfully believed that you still love me..

Because you said it to me just now..

Need your hugs and kisses....

Need your words to secure my heart..

You never know how I feel..

Every time I cry, is because you break my heart once.

The hurts had accumulate so much that no digit can represent...

The hurts is so painful that no one can take it..

I stay strong and take in all, because I love you..

Because I know losing you will be much more painful than all those you had gave me

So I had been staying strong by your side no matter how painful I am..

No matter how hurtful your words and actions are...

That's because I love you! :(

Wish that for me you can do as much as I did...

That's enough for me..

I need some effort from you to make me feel that I am loved by you..

I does not want to share boyfriend, so don't let anyone snatch you away..

I beg you.. :(

I might not be perfect, but I am trying hard to be the one you are finding

Trust me, I am trying very hard..

I know it had not reach your expectations, but please do something to keep me moving on..

No words can describe the love I have for you.

Really! :(

You are the one I love so deeply for..

Don't break my heart..

I am not sure if you really leave me, will I still have the courage to stand up again..

I really love you a lot boy <3

Saranghaeyo

Freaking sick!

Feeling unwell for the whole day..

Had been searching for guide for resume..

First time writing, didn't know how to do it.

Finally, ate panadol and had a short nap.

Asked you for help to wake me up.

The first thing you asked was not how am I feeling now,

yet is did you write the resume????

Believe me, the tone is not very gently..

Have not been feeling well the whole day, yet you doesn't seems to care..

You never know how I feel...

You just called, and ask me to work tomorrow.

I'm ok with it, but just that I am sick today doesn't feel like talking much.

You shouted at me, although it is not the first or second time

But it still hurts like the first or second time...

I cried and you know nothing..

You decided to go clubbing tonight at butter factory,

you didn't inform me about it and I told you before I hate you making decisions without informing me.

you said," you say go ah" , I told you to go because I knew you want to go

And I knew you had already decided to go.

It's all on your facebook..

I have been waiting the whole day for you to tell me.

yet, you only tell me about it when you are ending work.

It is obvious that I can't say no..

What if I say no? Does that make any difference?

I don't think so..

I have been enduring, hoping that you will know what I want from you..

I might be crying a lot, but that's because I feel sad, hurt .

You never know, you will only shout at me even more when I cried..

Do you know the reasons for every tear I shed?

Sometimes, I tell you that I can't sleep

It means you can sms with me and make me sleep..

Since you are enjoying yourself den so be it..

Do you know how it feels?

I know you are 19

I know you can go club or so..

Did you spare a thought for me?

Do you know how I really feel????

I wanted to go clubbing with you, and I have been blaming myself..

I have always hope I am born a year earlier.

So that I will be 18 this year..

But you never know..

Go ahead, enjoy yourself without me..

Do you really like the feeling that I am not around?

I know I might be a bit selfish..

But that's all because I am jealous and scared :(

Do you know why I work so hard during O level period?

Partly is because of the grades.

But also because you promised that you will spend more time with me after my O levels.

And I am so scared that you will leave me if i didn't do well.. :(

But yesterday, you told me FACE TO FACE.

This month you will have to work more than last month.

So what are you trying to tell me..

" oh baby, this month I would't be able to go out with you AGAIN?!?"

or what? It hurts me when you said that..

Really, I meant it..

You always break my heart in the most happy way,

where you will never know my heart is cracking while you are saying..

Amazing? Don't you sound like some professional?

Do you know why I told you to go clubbing for a few more times when you asked me not to be sad?

It's because, by that time I will not be sad.

I will get used to it and it will be nothing..

I will not care anymore ,when that day come..

Never mind, forget it.

You never know..

Just let me this underage bitch stare at the computer alone,

while you enjoy your night life...

Hope that on the 11/11/11 11.11am & 11.11pm

You will be by my side..

And hope that day will be a great day..

Breakdown

Things had been going on well until today..

Today was a total disaster!

First, personally thinks that did not do well in geography although I still can manage it.

Second the fucking physic which screw up everything..

Unit mistake and this that I had not seen before..

Emotional, Mental and Physical breakdown..

I cried when I came out..

Because I know I didn't do well.

I didn't want physic to pull my combined science down.

I did well for chemistry! I really do! :(

Told you about it, expected what you will say..

But I didn't know it hurts so bad..

Every single words hurts me deep..

Is like you poke the wound that had just been cut..

The pain is unbearably..

It hurts so bad because you are the one saying..

You are the one I care, every words you said means everything to me..

Your words are always my motivation..

But today, your words discourage me..

I also wish to do well ah.. :(

You never know, before every paper I study till my head hurts.

I stuff every single thing into my brain, because I want to do well

Because I want to show you that I studied..

I want to show you that I put in a lot of effort..

But when I told you I made mistake in my physic paper,

I wants you to encourage me..

The word "bullshit" breaks my heart when I saw it..

I don't like you to use those words on me..

I feel that I am not that important to you that my words are that rubbish..

I felt discouraged...

I felt useless....

What am I to you??

A fucking bitch who talks bullshit?

I know I act like a bitch sometimes, but believe me I didn't want to act like that too..

What a fucking stupid bitch am I...

Total breakdown today~ -,-"

Going eat, bath den study for POA~

Bye diary!