Freaking sick!

Feeling unwell for the whole day..

Had been searching for guide for resume..

First time writing, didn't know how to do it.

Finally, ate panadol and had a short nap.

Asked you for help to wake me up.

The first thing you asked was not how am I feeling now,

yet is did you write the resume????

Believe me, the tone is not very gently..

Have not been feeling well the whole day, yet you doesn't seems to care..

You never know how I feel...

You just called, and ask me to work tomorrow.

I'm ok with it, but just that I am sick today doesn't feel like talking much.

You shouted at me, although it is not the first or second time

But it still hurts like the first or second time...

I cried and you know nothing..

You decided to go clubbing tonight at butter factory,

you didn't inform me about it and I told you before I hate you making decisions without informing me.

you said," you say go ah" , I told you to go because I knew you want to go

And I knew you had already decided to go.

It's all on your facebook..

I have been waiting the whole day for you to tell me.

yet, you only tell me about it when you are ending work.

It is obvious that I can't say no..

What if I say no? Does that make any difference?

I don't think so..

I have been enduring, hoping that you will know what I want from you..

I might be crying a lot, but that's because I feel sad, hurt .

You never know, you will only shout at me even more when I cried..

Do you know the reasons for every tear I shed?

Sometimes, I tell you that I can't sleep

It means you can sms with me and make me sleep..

Since you are enjoying yourself den so be it..

Do you know how it feels?

I know you are 19

I know you can go club or so..

Did you spare a thought for me?

Do you know how I really feel????

I wanted to go clubbing with you, and I have been blaming myself..

I have always hope I am born a year earlier.

So that I will be 18 this year..

But you never know..

Go ahead, enjoy yourself without me..

Do you really like the feeling that I am not around?

I know I might be a bit selfish..

But that's all because I am jealous and scared :(

Do you know why I work so hard during O level period?

Partly is because of the grades.

But also because you promised that you will spend more time with me after my O levels.

And I am so scared that you will leave me if i didn't do well.. :(

But yesterday, you told me FACE TO FACE.

This month you will have to work more than last month.

So what are you trying to tell me..

" oh baby, this month I would't be able to go out with you AGAIN?!?"

or what? It hurts me when you said that..

Really, I meant it..

You always break my heart in the most happy way,

where you will never know my heart is cracking while you are saying..

Amazing? Don't you sound like some professional?

Do you know why I told you to go clubbing for a few more times when you asked me not to be sad?

It's because, by that time I will not be sad.

I will get used to it and it will be nothing..

I will not care anymore ,when that day come..

Never mind, forget it.

You never know..

Just let me this underage bitch stare at the computer alone,

while you enjoy your night life...

Hope that on the 11/11/11 11.11am & 11.11pm

You will be by my side..

And hope that day will be a great day..